Do You Believe?
I would like to share a story with you – this blew my mind and it will help you!
I was speaking with a remarkable friend of mine, Theresa, about romantic relationships just after the discovery of “the split”.
The split, if you remember, is: A belief that real and lasting love is not possible, coupled with a powerful desire to experience it. (Take a look at my blog The Date That Changed My Life).
My question to my friend was: What do you think it is that people become so jaded by mid-life about romantic relationships?
Her response was amazing and my recognition of the truth contained in her remark helped form the foundation of this program.
Here is what she said:
“I believe by mid-life most people lose their belief that anything wonderful can happen to them”.
There is no separation.
It was in pondering this that I realized that Best Relationships Ever is a continuum: it begins with loving your body, loving yourself, and then being able to love others and give and receive love.
Each component is intertwined. They impact one another. There is no separation between these aspects of life. The tools we learn in one area help us in the other areas as well.
Wow, do you have any idea how powerful that observation is?!
In this simple, yet profound, truth lies a clue to re-awakening something deep inside of you.
If this belief that nothing wonderful can happen applies to your life in any way – and let’s face it, most of us have been in a rut at least now and then – I would like to challenge this belief. This belief is false!
You Can Restore Your Belief In Life
I have a question for you. Do you believe that holding this belief would increase or decrease the possibility of having great relationships and a great life?
It is a core principle throughout the Fall In Love With Your Body Now (FIL) and The Best Relationships Ever (BRE) programs, that the potential for wonderful things exists in every moment.
Even in the midst of tremendous pain and suffering, magic may rise up to meet us. Especially in those moments. This is one of the great paradoxes in life.
Wonderful things “happen” all the time. As with love, though, wonderful life experiences are not something that “happen to us”, but rather experiences that are generated from within.
The outer reflects the inner. And we can play with that and create greater joy and fun.
The culmination of learning how to generate wonderful experiences and interactions leads to the creation of a series of remarkable moments that eventually leads to the creation of a remarkable life.
It is not difficult to create these experiences, but it requires a mindfulness and practice. A good start to creating a good moment is to look at where you are in the moment and not try to make it be anything different from what it is. Allow yourself to just relax and fully enter into this moment. Try it and see what happens.
Breathe into your moment.
Milk your moment.
Have fun with it.
Photo provided by صالح بن حسين الدغاري (Saleh Bin Huseein Aldgari)
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Life is not always easy! and I had the same question posed to me a year or so ago from a man I hardly knew but was asking the question of why middle age women seem so jaded. I responded by saying that I think when we become middle age, we have lived enough and experienced enough to know what we really don’t or do want (especially don’t). When we have entered into relationships and worked hard on changing or escaping situations that are potentially damaging or simply didn’t work, by middle age, we realize through our experiences what does not work for us. Perhaps doesn’t take as long to see a pattern, behavior or character trait that we have experienced and no longer want to put the effort, the energy the time into what we know we can’t change. So, maybe we see deeper, trust more of our intuition and know what we don’t want. What may be considered jaded could be more so an understanding of who we are. When our difficultied and challenges in life start to outweigh the positive and fulfulling experiences in life, then I think we of course question our belief in wonderful things happening or even the ability to creat or draw to us. But, as with anything, breaking a pattern, a way of thinking, a deeply sunk in belief, takes work but most definitely is do-able. Oh….. well, who knows, really, it probably all comes together and makes the utmost sense in the last 47 seconds of life
!!!
Hey Caitriona,
Very astute observations about experiences by mid-life and becoming more clear about what we want. I think a significant part is there is a difference between knowing what we want and becoming embittered and losing trust in love and life.
To me, trusting in love and life means that although we have experienced some negative, we recognize that we largely create a good life by choosing to focus on what does work. Where we FOCUS is so powerful. I think we can shift patterns. I know I have. I always compare it to I do still spend moments in the negative place, but I no longer LIVE there.
Ha ha – there may be a lot we see in the last 47 seconds of life – let’s hope it’s all good!
Thanks for your insightful comments. Looking forward to hearing more!
Why not look into the world in a positive …
Why do not judge by reason of conscience should know ….
Why Andjal grief in our lives does not mention the part ?
To make ….. what makes us cry and laugh .. Maydgna entertain us …
Let us always remember that this world is not ours … to remember that it is the way to cross … to make this route is filled with full of Balafrah delighted …
A path decorated with flowers … and the mourning hiding among the leaves of trees buried under the soil of joy to remember ….
To make our lives safe passage of all what makes it Alllon black color … sadness …
To make it does not see color … the color has no meaning ….
This is the minimum through …. and we are choosing …..
And the world beautiful, I understand …..
…
Word of beautiful and interesting and benefited from much
Thank you to all of this Lauren
Dear Saleh,
Thank you for your beautiful words!
For anyone reading this, Saleh kindly allowed me to use his photo. I am placing a link to his website, as his photography is truly remarkable!
Saleh, you add such beauty to the world with your photographs – and your words as well.
All the best of life to you!
Lauren
http://www.flickriver.com/photos/salehbinhuseein/popular-interesting/
Lauren´s last blog ..7 Tips For Choosing A Therapist: It’s Like Finding A Good Mechanic!
Hi Lauren, It’s so nice to finally read what you had been talking about for so long. You have a wonderful way of communicating clarity on some really tough issues. I look forward to reading more!
Kathleen´s last blog ..Weekly words to live by – June 20- 2010
Dear Kathleen,
How great to hear from you! Thanks for your kind words. Looking forward to communicating.
Warm regards,
Lauren
Lauren´s last blog ..Best Relationships Ever Mentoring